Bad Mood~

Today 29/12/2011
Morning I wake up early and went to JJ with my friends...
They are Andrea, Reina and Ivan..

We have a lot of fun at there,

But I feel so tired..

Andrea went home early because she going her niece house,

i think..

Almost 4,
Reina called her dad and we wait for her dad..

Before he sent me home,

We went to eat Cendol..

We don't want to eat actually but Reina's dad wanna eat..

After eat he just sent me home..

When I'm home,

I straight on laptop and play maple until 5pm..

After I cook, bath thats all,
I continue mapling..

I play until 12am just stop..

I felt everything is annoying that time..

Feel sad and annoying..

He online and I trying to tell him my feeling..

But he was like ignoring my talk..
I'm so sad when he said you can't judge other people..

My tears dropping after the sentence..

I'm not judging people,

I'm just telling what I feel,

But you are hurting me by helping people..

I want a guy who is a good listener..
But not say you can't judge people..

I just tell you,

I didn't tell anyone also..

Heartbreaking..

Seriously..

You say I too social,

and you don't want to be a boyfriend that forbid his gf to out with frens...

If you out with a girl,

I cant scold you,

I also got do that...

I never go out with a guy alone..

And if you really think about that,

so why don't just end this relationship..

You don't like then break up laa..

I don't care..

Cry only,

It's already normal for me,

Everyone know it..

I can't feel you love me you know?
I feel you are playing..
I'm afraid of played by someone..

You always say hope we can be longer..

This is just wanna try to longer,

NOT LOVE!

You don't even want to celebrate my birthday..

You lompat pagar after kawad..

You say you stomachache when we going celebrate my birthday...

In my life..

Birthday date is important for me,

Because I hope my boyfriend celebrate my birthday,

give me surprice..

But I really get surprice,

That's you make me cry for 1week..

I'm so sad seriously..

I still can feel the pain..

Why you're not like Derik?
He planned everything for her girlfriend..

He so love her girlfriend and everyone can feel the love..

Why we can't?

I'm so sad..

Genting Trip~

12December and 13December 2011
I went to Genting Highland with my friends..

1st day,
We go there by bus at Gombak until Skyway,

and go up by Skyway..
We put our bag in the hotel and rest a while,
then we start our trip..x)
We went to Outdoor theme park..
We played from 10am something until 2am..
AWESOME right? hahahaha...
This is the 1st time I play until so late..
After play we back to hotel..
On the way,
We keep talking about Selfish auntie.. x)
In the hotel,

We have FOOT SPA in the toilet,
Andrea and Esther make Supper for us..x)
We have a lot of fun and we also scolded by some SELFISH auntie :P
But we still happy :D
We take a lot picture,

Of course I'm not the photographer,
hahahaha :P
Derik and Esther brought DSLR..
And Andrea Brought camera...
I just brought phone :P
It's a AWESOME trip..

Andrea and me whole night not sleeping..
But 7.20am we slept because of Ivan..
Actually we want to go out,

But Ivan said 5more mins,

then we fall asleep until 10am something just awake..
That time my face was like (/.\),
'Why you guys didn't wake me up'
Then we keep our things and we check out..

We went to lunch,
After lunch we straight go home :)
This is my 1st time I went to Genting Highland with my friends..
They are AWESOME..
We laugh together,
Angry together,
Scold Selfish Auntie together..
Hahaha :D
I LOVE YOU ALL! <3

I Love You So Much

Asyraff Hakimi!!!
I really don't know what are you thinking?

Can I open your brain and let me see what are you thinking?

You don't know how scare am I..

I scare you don't love me..

I scare you don't trust me..

I Love You So Much!

Trust me please..

You are the first man that

I Love until can't even breath..

You change my life..

I change my life for you..

I really hope our love will be forever..
It's too much problems,

I don't know we can solve it or not..
I'm afraid you leave me..

You don't know how worry am I..

I afraid you in love to other girl..

I afraid you in love to my best friend..

I'm so afraid..

You told me you won't love other people except ME!
But I still worry..

I'm so sad my dear..

I can imagine what the feeling when you leave me..

I don't want!
I don't want that feeling happen!
I won't let you leave me!!

But I don't know how to keep you by my side..

I afraid after you leave me you will forget what we done before..

I afraid..

What should I do?

I always angry you is because I want you to love me more..

I want you to always care me..

I want you look at me..

I want you to think about me..

I want you know I'm angry because of you..

I want you to know I'm jealous..

You don't know I jealous when you talking about a girl with me..

I don't want to jealous but I can't..

I can't control it anymore..

It's so hard..

I'm so tired..

Can I rest?

Can I don't think about it anymore?

Can I just live in my dream..

In the dream everything is fake,

but happy..

I got think wanna break with you before..
But I din't did it..

Because I love you so much,

I cried when I'm planning,

I hide in the toilet for 30mins,

I cried for 1 night..

I think many things in the toilet,

I feel wanna suicide that time..

I really feel wanna take a knife n kill myself..

That feeling is super heartache..

I really can't live without you..

I hope this love will be forever..

<3<3<3

Bowling~

Aha~

I'm trying to improve my bowling skill..

Nowadays,

my score sure more than 110..

I hope I can get more than 120 every games..

Today,

I go to bowling with my parents..

1st game,

I got 1strike,

my total score is 110..

2nd game,

I also got 1strike,

my total score same with last game..

err...

3rd game,

..... i forget already..:P

4th game,

I got 125...

Haha..

Every games I get more than 110..:D

I want to play 1more game,

because I wanna score more..

But my mum said its enough for today..

So we end it!

I hope i can improve my bowling skill..

Hope next time can get more than 120 in every games...

:D

Ima really a loser...

What should i do?
I try to chill myself but i can't..

My tears keep dropping,

my face full with tears...

My heart was broken,

although i just imagine it..

Maybe he is the important in my heart,

but my parents don't let us be together..

I love him so much,

He love me so much..

But we're not the same type...

He is cold, i'm hot..

He is penguin, i'm giraffe..
A penguin won't born a kid,

Because they won't meet each other..

He is Malay, i'm Chinese..
Can be together,

but parents don't let...
What to do?
They always scold,

Don't let me sms,

Don't let me stay back..

They just want me to break with him...

But,

I won't give up our love!
I want to be strong!

I won't break the rules!
I always scold by them,

and now,

I'm trying to control myself

to let them won't scold me..

I want to stop texting with him..

Just after my dad is back,

I'll stop it..

It will make us less chat..

We already less meet,

less hold hand,

less hug,

less kiss,

less texting,

less talk...

What to do?
They don't agree our love..
My heart is broken but I can't do anything,

I just can do what they want me to do..

Maybe everyone is thinking i'm no brave,

but i still wanna do this,

because....

I don't want my parents hurt him...

I know I'm so stupid..

The most stupid is me!
Love him Love too much..

Maybe my god want me with him forever,

but they will give me many problem,

they want me solve them and we just can be together..

It just like a love story..

My love story is full with problem and lies..

I lies everyone in the world,

including myself..

Only god know,

I'm lying to everyone...

i feel wanna suicide just now,

I'm trying to chill myself..

I tell myself,

'Not to hurt yourself'

And finally,

my brain lost this words 'suicide'..

He is so important to me..

I don't know what will I do if i break with him..

Maybe kill myself?

Maybe cry for many many days?

Maybe not eating?

Maybe lock myself in my room everyday?

Maybe just doing everything to recover my pain?

I don't know.....
I'm really a loser....

Emo~ =(

I don't know what happen to me today.
I'm unhappy today.

Easy to angry,

Easy to cry...
Maybe because today is not a lucky day for me..

Today everything in my life is suck!

I hate today!
I hate!!!
Who can tell me why??

#tearsdropping

I'm trying to be happy,

but I can't.

I feel so tired.

So sad..

Disappointed on myself.

Actually I'm not a happy girl.

I always cry alone..

Nobody know..

Nobody will know what I'm thinking,

what I'm doing..

Sometimes,

I don't know what I'm doing..
I dream too much,

I should come back to this world.

I hope my mood will be better tomorrow.